Ballerina Farm Girl & Her Story’s Affect on the Struggles of Intersectionality.
Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world. Did you think of Ballerina Farm Girl or Sonya Massey?
The recent media coverage of Hannah Neelman, known as “Ballerina Farm Girl,” has taken social media by storm. With over 7.6 million TikTok followers, Neelman has been creating content for years, showcasing her family’s life on their ranch in Utah.
Neelman is going viral now after an interview with The Sunday Times for an article titled “Queen of the Trad Wives.” The line that is particularly going viral is, “And I was going to be a ballerina. I was a good ballerina,” she said, recounting how her original plan for her life was to go to New York City. Neelman had been training as a ballerina at Juilliard School in New York City when she met Daniel, her husband. Hannah says, “I gave up dance, which was hard. You give up a piece of yourself. And Daniel gave up his career ambitions.” People are also pointing out how it seems like Daniel doesn’t care about her, due to the fact that he gifted her an egg apron for her birthday instead of a trip to Greece.
The women of TikTok have overwhelmingly wrapped their arms around Hannah, with her gaining almost 1 million new followers in the past week.
When I first came across the Ballerina Farm story, it saddened me. One of the things that makes me the most sad thinking about is how many women give up their dreams and lifestyle for the sake of their future relationships and family. I know women personally who have done it.
I was fine with the empathy being presented at first, but then I saw many takes claiming this is “the saddest story they’ve seen all week.” But how can this be the saddest thing you’ve seen all week when Sonya Massey was just murdered by the police over a pot of water? If you can empathize more with, pay more attention to, and post more about a woman who is alive, dancing on her farm, raising her kids, and living a life of wealth, rather than a woman who lost her life due to corrupt policing, then maybe my empathy is off and our priorities are completely out of sync.
(If you don’t know, Sonya Massey was a Black woman who tragically lost her life in a 30-second confrontation with police, which was ignited over a pot of boiling water. Dare I say, her story has received far less consistent attention and empathy than that of Hannah Neelman.)
I came across some videos from people who agreed with my perspective. And most of the rebuttal was, “We can empathize with both.” The problem is, you don’t. You say you do, but you don’t. You’re make edits about Hannah Neelman, whose family is backed by hundreds of millions of dollars, which allows them to live quite comfortably; who is married to Daniel Neelman, the heir to the US airline JetBlue fortune; who despite the failed trip to Greece, has probably taken quite a few other international trips. Meanwhile, Sonya Massey’s family is still seeking justice and answers. (Yet you don’t have a post up demanding justice for her.)
The disproportionate media coverage (especially from white women) for Hannah Neelman compared to Sonya Massey exemplifies the problems with modern white feminism. ”It also sparks a deeper internal debate on the basis of intersectionality—am I Black first or a woman first?
Intersectionality, a term and concept coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw in 1989, illustrates the compound discrimination experienced by Black women due to the liveliness of racism and sexism. Some would deny the fact that Black women are discriminated against in multiple arenas. This denial often arises within modern day feminism which unfortunately, does not address the full scope of how Black women are discriminated against. While it may address the woman-ness of a Black woman, but will ignore her Blackness and the impact of racial biases. Or very seldom, it will address their Blackness, but deny their ladyhood and femininity. This reluctance to recognize the multidimensional discrimination that Black women encounter reveals a critical problem with modern feminist movements. (Read my full article on intersectionality here.)
So, yes, it is hard for me to fully focus my empathy on a woman on the basis of our shared womanhood when she is still alive, living comfortably, and still dancing, albeit on a farm. Meanwhile, I am filled with anger on the basis of my race because one of my own was just killed for no reason.
To genuinely empathize with both Hannah Neelman and Sonya Massey and demand justice for Sonya Massey, you can take several meaningful steps:
Acknowledge Both Stories: Recognize the validity and emotional impact of both women's stories. Understand that while Hannah's story might evoke empathy on a personal level, Sonya's story demands attention on a societal and justice-oriented level.
Educate Yourself and Others: Learn about the circumstances surrounding Sonya Massey's death. Share her story within your communities to raise awareness about the systemic issues that contributed to her unjust treatment.
Amplify Marginalized Voices: Use your platform to amplify voices that are often marginalized or ignored. Share articles, posts, and information about Sonya Massey and other victims of racial injustice to keep their stories in the public eye.
Support Relevant Causes: Donate to organizations that work towards racial justice and police reform. Participate in or organize events, protests, or discussions that focus on these issues.
Hold Media (Including Yours) Accountable: Advocate for balanced media coverage that fairly represents the struggles and injustices faced by marginalized communities. Write to media outlets, share your thoughts on social media, and encourage others to do the same.
Engage in Active Allyship: Show up for marginalized communities not just in moments of crisis but consistently. Listen to their experiences, support their causes, and use your privilege to help dismantle systemic oppression.
By taking these actions, you can ensure that you are empathetic and proactive in seeking justice for Sonya Massey while also acknowledging the broader spectrum of human experiences.
Rest in peace to the dreams of Hannah Neelman, “a ballerina trapped in a music box”; and rest in peace to Sonya Massey, another Black woman dead at the hands of those who were supposed to protect her.